Letter to a Selfish Douchebag

Dear Selfish Douchebag,

It never ceases to amaze me that the amount of selfishness, pettiness, irresponsibility, complete lack of empathy, competitiveness and hatefulness that you have writhing with in you constantly increases. Just when I think we have reached the utmost depths of your vileness you do something more despicable, selfish, irresponsible, petty, competitive or hateful to prove me wrong. Will we ever reach the bottom of this vile well of despicableness or is your soul just an endless black hole of filth? Is this what your father is like? This soulless selfish despicable being or have you now even surpassed him?

I find it pathetically sad that you are following in his footsteps- this man that you claim to despise and yet your are just as self-absorbed and hateful to others as he is, if not more so, just as determined to have your way and take your revenge regardless of the cost to others or the collateral damage (namely your children). What's even more pathetic and sad is that I don't think you even completely realize that already your actions are sowing the seeds of discontent, disrespect and hatred in your children. The tone of disdain in their voices when they speak of you is sad and disheartening, the way they adamantly refuse to call you and fight over who has to speak to you first on the rare occasions you call them, saddens my heart.

Not for you, the selfish, black souled, lying manipulative bastard, but for our innocent children who should be able to blindly respect, love and adore their father, who should be able to have hero-worship as normal children do instead of being forced to see him in the light for the true person he is as he displays his soulless, selfish nature for them time and again through his actions. Destroying family time, ruining their dreams, plans and fun, lying to them, breaking promises to them, and the list goes on.

Grow up. Realize that the world does not revolve around you, and if it was going to revolve around any one single person certainly it would be a better, more responsible, truthful, caring, giving person than you have proven yourself to be.

You have these perfect wonderful beings in your hands, start cherishing that gift instead of squandering it. Start placing them first in your life above yourself, your wants and your petty thirst for revenge. BE A DAD. Instead of becoming more and more like the man you cut out of your life. Look in the mirror- is it his reflection you see yet? If not, that's only because you're fooling yourself.


Sincerely,
The Best Thing That Ever Happened to You Before She Got Smart and Walked Away

Why I am a weirdo...

So you know that saying that goes something along the lines of; " if you buy a woman things that plug in or household supplies you better have a good life insurance policy that you're paid up on" , that totally doesn't apply to me.

In the past I have received bake ware, a crockpot, mixers (man I'm still sad J got our kitchenaid mixer when we split), sewing machines, etc and all were met with sincere smiles and thanks because it is stuff needed that I will use and use well. Most girls want diamonds, I like cooking and crafting supplies, LOL.

Things I would absolutely go gaga over for future birthdays or Christmases include;
* A decent sewing machine (one that embroiders would net you multiple blow jobs daily for life)
* A label Maker
* A kitchenaid mixer with pasta maker attachment (I've been lusting over that baby for at least 8 years)
* A dyson animal vacuum cleaner
* A nice steam cleaner that works well
* A crepe pan
* A pastry cutter
* An industrial grade food processor

So I guess the moral of this story is that while stereotypes can be useful they don't always get it right, know the person you're getting gifts for and get the something you know they'll enjoy even if it is considered a faux pas by others. Happy gift hunting. :)