I am not the type of female that surrounds herself with other females, the reasons why are numerous. Females are often catty, rarely trustworthy, extremely vindictive, always competitive in one regard or another with other females and on and on I could go...
Every once in a while though you come across females in which those traits are either not present or are so minimal that it makes a friendship with them worth it. For the past 3 years I thought my best friend was one of those females.... I found out this past weekend I was wrong.
I met Wendy Nichole Nelson online on myspace in a group called Pits Only. We were in many other groups together as well and at some point amidst posting on dog topics we became friends. We shared email and IM and phone numbers and talked on a regular basis. The number of paralells in our lives were amazing in that "kinda spooky" way.... We were so similar people often mistook us for each other or would just assume that what one said the other agreed with 100% even when that wasnt entirely so. It was fun but annoying at the same time. People often said it was almost like we were "the same person" and we were similar enough in looks we were often mistaken for each other by neighbors or asked if we were sisters. We felt like sisters.
In the end of summer 2007 Wendy moved to Southern California to live with a mutual friend. I became her free babysitter, first while she job hunted and then while she worked. She was supposed to help out in trade but spent more time online in front of my computer than watching children (even her own) or helping me clean as agreed. That should have been my first sign but as the dog groups and the fight against BSL had become a crusade of mine as well I understood her preocupation and so made excuses for it in my own head. She had just gotten out of a bad marriage that had many similarities to my own at the time and thus formed another bond between us. Meanwhile her lack of help and the fact she was on the computer or leaving us with her kids all the time was adding another strain to an already breaking marriage which led to more fighting and tension between J and I and offered her an even further in as the sympathetic ear and devoted caring friend.
We began looking for houses to move into together and during the search I contacted my dad and moved up here leaving her babysitterless which, in hindsight, may have left her feeling betrayed and began the first step in this long path of betrayal.
She got a babysitter, lost a babysitter, got another, lost another and eventually made her way up here after living in her car with kids for 2 weeks. I took her in with open arms. The plan was that she would help out with the house we would take turn babysitting each others kids and once she found a job she would stay a month or two to save up then move into an apartment close by so we could continue to babysit for each other.
She made minimal job hunting efforts, spent hours upon hours online in myspace, facebook, a fishing group and perusing craigslist ads, all in an effort to meet and sleep with as many men (and potential marks) as she could.... Made minimal housecleaning efforts and lived here for 7 months rent/food/bill free on top of my giving her gas money because she often ran errands for me while I cleaned - I never received any change from any of the errands and she would miraculously have money to buy herself soda and chips after running errands for me, I never said anything as it was a few dollars here and there. Many people in my life were unimpressed with her, questioned her motives, called her a user or a leach and i defended her to every one of them; She was trying but the job market was extremely poor due to the economy, she did help out but she had been sick lately, and the list of excuses and defenses went on and on.
During the last two months she became close with another friend we had both met online years ago and they decided to meet in person. He paid for her to travel to indiana and they entered into a relationship, made plansfor her to move in with him and signed a lease to rent a house together. The relationship was tumultuous to say the least and i was extremely unsure of its ability to last and the smartness of their decision to live together so early on. I was very vocal about my concerns and he and I began fighting. She would consistently pour gasoline on those fires to fuel those fights as often as possible.
As she was telling me how mean he was and how poorly he treated her and how jealous he was etc etc she was telling him I was abusing her kids, forcibly keeping her from getting a job, using her as a slave and making life a living hell from which she longed to escape. Though her hours online and extremely long phones conversations with him should have provided him the proof he needed to see through said lies, he was blinded by love and took up the sword to defend the honor of his poor defensless girlfriend.
She misjudged her quarry when in the last fight we were involved in she fanned the flames a little too much and he let known his opinion of me for all the above mentioned "crimes". An even bigger battle ensued as I tried to defend my name by offering the truth and he countered with lie upon malicious and disgusting lie... all had come from her.
I kicked her out of my house, turned off the cellphone we had been paying for her for almost 2 years and threatened to have her car towed if someone didnt pick it up within 24 hours (she is in oregon visiting her mom) I also reclaimed the dog we had adopted from her for jason and i was going to give back to her due to jasons irresponsibly deciding he didnt want his beloved 'pretty pittie princess' anymore now that he would have to be the one to actually care for her... of course she doesnt know the dog has been reclaimed yet but, Hey, i cant wait to see the look on her face when I tell her. And as she hasnt paid a dime on the dog for food or care except for a new collar, I have every right to keep whats mine. =)
The fighting amongst the boyfriend and I continued and I got even more info. Finally I had enough and in a pissed off effort to hurt them both told him every lie I knew she had told him from the start of their relationship until now complete with the names and phone numbers of the people involved who could back me up. When he went to her with the info that i was about to provide names/numbers she admited the lies. Which effectively ended their relationship.
For about 5 hours.
He is "in love with her" and "has to try to make it work" and while I give him props for being able to stick he gets more points taken away for total stupidity. Alas, its his life and he needs to be allowed to fall on his own face from time to time but I have a feeling reconstructive surgery may not be enough to undo the damage once she's through with him.
I've said my peace thats all I can do. That, and pray he comes to his senses and also post this blog in an effort that those who come in contact with this deadly black widow spider see her for what she truly is and avoid her web at all costs.
Good luck in life, Wendy Nichole Nelson, may Karma come back to give you what you have thrown out to others tenfold, and may it happen soon.
