An Open Letter To President Barack Obama

Dear President Obama,

Recently, you went on record being against stay-at-home parents, and in the video of your speech you can be seen saying, "Sometimes someone, usually mom, leaves the workplace to stay at home with the kids which then leaves her earning a lower wage for the rest of her life as a result. AND THAT'S NOT A CHOICE WE WANT AMERICANS TO MAKE." You then went on to talk about wanting to enroll an exorbitant amount of children into daycare and preschool programs by the end of this decade. Now, many news outlets and personal bloggers are writing up articles about how you disparaged or insulted stay-at-home moms:
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Obama insults moms
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I don't think your speech was disparaging to stay-at-home moms, I don't even think it was insulting to stay-at-home moms, I think it was pure ignorance. Yes, Mr. President, I am calling you ignorant and not just on this issue. You are ignorant because you see money as the only value in this equation. There are many things in this life that hold unmeasurable value Mr. President, but money IS NOT one of them. You are ignorant because you are making the assumption that someone else is more qualified to raise our children than the moms that birthed them. You stood in front of a crowd of people and said that our children need to be in programs where the ratio is one adult to 5 or more children, vs in a home with the parent that is bonded to them and can give them the one on one time, attention, devotion, and nurturing that is critical to their formative years. You are ignorant because you are judging someone's worth by their income in this equation, people are so much more than the job they do or the amount of money they make. In fact some of the most worthy people in this life are the ones who have very little monetary value at all. The worth of a person should not be judged by what (s)he makes and instead by who (s)he is.

An excellent quote that I feel fits this situation is; “The wise do not buy into other people’s perceptions of who they are and what they are capable of. Instead, they bypass a person’s public persona and see who they are in their highest expression. When you see actions taken with integrity, instead of words only, you will then know a soul’s worth.” -Shannon L. Alder

Stay-at-home moms (and there are exceptions to every rule so this doesn't apply to all- but it does apply to a majority in my opinion) are the epitome of action with integrity -they put aside their wants, sometimes their dreams as well, for their family, for their children, for the future. They selflessly give of themselves nurturing and caring not just for the children they birthed but for the husband they bound themselves to, for the home they live in. These moms usually take very little time for themselves because they devote the whole of it to their family and they do this because they know an important truth that you have yet to let yourself learn Mr. President. They know that there is no greater calling on this earth than that of being a mother. They know that there is no more important job than that of raising our future. They know that there is nothing more rewarding in the whole of the universe than the raising, nurturing, and shaping of a life.

I feel sorry for you, Mr. President, deeply sorry not only for you but for your wife and your children because your choice to be a working family cost your family something precious that you will never get back. But unlike you, Mr. President, I can feel sorry and sad for you without judging your family for it's choice to be a two-income working family and I can respect your and your wifes choice to do so. I have never and will never say that "being a working mom is not a choice moms should be making" because it is that mom's choice. It is not my choice, it is hers. No one has the right to decide someone else's life for them. You have every right to feel that your wife made the right choice to be a working mom because it is a choice she made herself, a choice she is happy with, a choice that worked for your family. But you have NO RIGHT to say that those of us moms who chose to stay at home made the wrong one. My choice to stay at home was the best choice I ever made. It was one I will never forget, or regret. And nothing else I ever do in this life will ever compare in value to what I accomplished as a stay-at-home mom.

Sincerely,
Shell Stirling
Mom-of-five