It's time for honesty. I'm not saying that I've been lying to you or anyone else because I have been as honest as I felt I could be, but I definitely have never given anyone ALL the information that maybe I should have. Sometimes it was to protect you and keep your feelings from being hurt, other times it was purely selfish and done to keep myself from being hurt by your lashing tongue and cruel acts as we both know how vengeful you can be when things don't go your way. Either way I have yet to give you 100% truth about the hows and why's of my leaving and with the gloves currently off on your side I figure its about time I take my own off as well and lay everything out there. Who knows, maybe you'll read this one day and it will help you see yourself in a clearer light so you can become a better person, or maybe not. At least I know that by writing this whether you ever read it or not I have finally purged you and our toxic relationship from my soul completely.
I wanted to love you, I did, and I honestly tried to keep myself from falling out of love with you but I failed. For the record you made loving you practically impossible with your snide comments, verbal abuse, explosive temper, random outbursts, constant lies, refusal to accept responsibility for ANYTHING and constant misplacement of blame onto others and let's not forget the cheating or the rape. The two final straws that shattered this poor beaten camels back.
I think the first moment that started the downward spiral of me no longer loving you was the day you bought my train ticket for me to go to my dads wedding but didn't buy your own. I asked why you hadn't bought your ticket and you told me it was because we didn't have enough money. I had written the budget out for that paycheck and the 4 previous paychecks so that we could save the money and have enough to get there so the money SHOULD have been in the bank. Not only should we have had enough money for all our train tickets but there should also have been an additional $100 for unexpected expenses as well as our cable bill money and grocery bill money as neither of those had been paid yet. Instead after buying my ticket we had $29 in the account. That's not what made the first crack in the "I love you" wall though. What made the crack was when you followed me into the bedroom and began pestering me about what was wrong. I told you repeatedly I didn't want to discuss it until later when the kids were asleep because I felt it was emotionally damaging for parents to fight in front of their children. Instead of respecting my feelings or taking the emotional well being of our 2 children into consideration you instead focussed solely on what you wanted since YOU always have been and always will be the most important thing and #1 priority in your own life. This was the first time in our 2 year marriage that I recognized that truth and I lost a multitude of respect for you because of it.
You got in my face repeatedly continuously badgering me in front of both our children, one of whom was being held by me, until I finally lost it and brought up how much money should have been in the account and why the hell wasn't it since you were the one who had the bank card. We ended up in a big argument in front of our children at the end of which I ended up having to call my sister, making excuses for you ( another big chunk of respect for you lost there and the love crack widens a bit) so I could borrow money for us all to be able to attend my fathers wedding as it was not practical for me to travel 13 hours on a train with luggage, an almost 3 year old and a 7 month old BY MYSELF, so you needed to go with. Instead of thanking my sister, getting your act together, admitting any wrongdoing etc you acted as though everything were fine, you had the right to over-spend our bank account and were entitled to monetary loans from my family whenever you damn well pleased. The mask was coming off, the charming veneer wearing thin and the egotistical self-obsessed, thoroughly selfish ass was showing through. I was beginning to realize I did NOT love that guy but "that guy" was who I was really married to.
It was about halfway through year 3 of our marriage when I realized that not only wasn't I in love with you any longer but that I didn't like you at all anymore either. The lying was out of control, as was the verbal abuse, the selfishness had reached new heights I hadn't imagined possible and any attempts made on my part to try and talk things through or fix the ever widening cracks in our relationship were brushed aside and ignored by you. I considered leaving you multiple times but felt that for our children's sake I had to continue the facade and stay married to a man I disliked, had no respect for, didn't trust and was no longer in love with. To top it all off I was repelled by his touch and just the thought of having to have sex with him was revolting but any punishment was fair as long as it meant my children's needs and wants were being met. So I continued to live with a man I didn't love and continued to sleep with him as well despite my lack of desire for the task. I even got pregnant one last time in an effort to try to find a connection between us, something I could love and respect you for once more, anything to begin rebuilding our relationship on. It didn't work.
But I will never regret our relationship or staying as long as I did because by doing so I received 3 precious and irreplaceable gifts, our wonderful talented generous smart and beautiful children and I woukdnt trade any of them for anything in this world or out of it. So thank you for your part in bringing those gifts into our lives. I will always be grateful to you for that though your treatment if those lives since their births, especially during these past 3 years has done nothing but insure that you will never earn my respect nor be a likable man.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Friday, March 30, 2012
Goals to be done by August 1, 2012
1) All "for sale" items washed, photographed and listed for sale by April 30, 2012
2)Cheaper storage place found and items moved to it by April 30, 2012
2) Lees Bios Life business up and running by May 1, 2012
3) DC rideable and up for sale or sold by May 15, 2012
4) At least 3 - 5 rental applications filled out and turned in for Temecula homes by May 15
5) Storage gone through and repacked by June 1, 2012
6) 2 months rent plus deposit saved up by July 1, 2012
7) Home found and moved into by August 1, 2012 at latest.
2)Cheaper storage place found and items moved to it by April 30, 2012
2) Lees Bios Life business up and running by May 1, 2012
3) DC rideable and up for sale or sold by May 15, 2012
4) At least 3 - 5 rental applications filled out and turned in for Temecula homes by May 15
5) Storage gone through and repacked by June 1, 2012
6) 2 months rent plus deposit saved up by July 1, 2012
7) Home found and moved into by August 1, 2012 at latest.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Breaking Of The Dam
Strong. That's me. Ask my family, children, ex boyfriends, ex husband, close friends and many of them will say "She never cries". Ask them if they've ever seen me cry in the course of our relationship and at least 70% could truthfully answer no. I've been the steady shoulder to cry on and willing ear more times than I care to count, my own pain pushed aside in order to help heal the pain of others around me that were affected by the same circumstances.
When my parents divorced I played mother to my siblings on quite a few occasions as my mother dealt with lawyers, stress, grief and all the other wonders that come with the loss of an 11 year marriage. I confided in myself, God and my diary so as not to put more stress or worry on my mother. I listened to and consoled younger siblings, got ourselves snacks, played babysitter to them, etc etc. I believe that is when I taught myself never to cry as crying is a useless endeavor and wasted effort. I've held on to that belief for 27 years now, letting myself give in a little on the very rare occasions that I just couldn't hold in all the pain/fear/anger/grief any longer.
During the collapse of my fathers second "marriage" (in quotes because it was a common law marriage) I became his rock, I was his shoulder to cry on, quite literally and felt the weight of those tears both physically and metaphorically more times than one would believe possible after having the privilege to meet my tough and gruff father. I became mother once again to my siblings during their weekend and holiday visits, took over the household chores; cooking, cleaning, organizing, grocery shopping,etc. My own tears, worries & stresses were tucked aside in my own personal well of pain and grief deep inside my chest, the lid firmly placed over the well and a large stone boulder placed on top of that to hold it down. I became the perfect steady-as-a-rock willing ear and shoulder to cry on. Let no emotions show, always project confidence and a winning smile, always have a plan, fake it til you make. Those were all my mottos. I memorized them and lived them well. Some called me shallow and heartless, I think many of them actually believed it to be true.
Through break-ups, losses of friendships, deaths of loved ones and pets, sexual abuse, physical abuse, a foray into my own personal drug hell, anorexia/bulimia I held my hand out to no one, poured my pain and loss and fears out to a microscopic few and handled it myself with the minimum emotional displays possible (except one VERY VERY drunken night with my best friend). Some people know the extent of these stories, most don't and I can say that of those that do more than half were told by big mouth family members and not by me (thanks for that by the way- and you 3 know who you are- it's always wonderful to be blindsided by a friend/family member/acquaintance/significant other with extremely personal information you didn't share with them and had no desire for them to ever know).
Then came my big epic failure decision. The decision to let my children live for one year with their father. The reasoning made sense at the time and honestly still does if you look at it solely from a numbers/ list of facts point of view and ignore the personalities of the adults involved. Ignoring the selfish behaviors and epic asstasticness by a certain someone - just look at facts and figures and a random stranger would very likely come to my same conclusion, however I'm not a random stranger I knew this man inside out, was fully aware of his capacity for selfishness, competitiveness and epic asstasticness so therefore I should have known better.
After making and enacting this decision; I endured hateful comments and emails, recriminations, judgments, backstabbing, loss of support structure from family, my own doubts/fears/self-recriminations, extreme misery and longing from missing my munchkins, Slander in front of court officials and random strangers on multiple occasions, as well as a multitude of other emotional and physical ups and downs. I weathered them all, and gave very little outward notice to many of them. My pain was my own burden to bear, hate from others my own to shield and deflect. I held up very well. We are now going on year three of the "temporary" one-year agreement and year two of the actual court custody proceedings and it has taken its toll. Over the course of my lifetime the well I spoke of earlier was eventually dug out, expanded and became a large river with a strong solid dam to hold it back, that dam is now cracking.
I cannot name the number of tears shed the last year and most especially the last 6 months, the heart-wrenching & soul-tearing pain experienced or the racking sobs as grief pours out of my throat and down my cheeks into my pillow. I am losing it. I can no longer hold up under this strain and happy facade of crap - smiling politely and nodding my head while everyone tells me to "be patient" and "It'll work out in the end" when NOW is what I am worried about and no one can tell me when the fuck "the end" will be. I am tired of living in limbo, tired of seeing my children less than once a month, tired of having my visitations ignored, shortened or otherwise fucked with, tired of the tear-filled questions from my children that I'm not allowed to answer per court order because apparently California courts think all children are too stupid to deduce for themselves that their parents are having a custody battle, tired of the hurt that fills my childrens eyes at the end of every visit, tired of hearing the begging and sobs during the end of the visit as their father stands coldly by refusing to acknowledge the pain his selfishness is wreaking upon our children, tired of his smug superiority and assumption that the children are his sole possessions to keep and control instead of the sentient beings they are with feelings and minds of their own who deserve their own chance at happiness and to have their wishes and needs acknowledged instead of ignored.
Any time this crap wants to finally come to an end so I can get on with my life and make the moves and decisions that are best for my children to help heal some of this damage would be great. Really. Any time now.
When my parents divorced I played mother to my siblings on quite a few occasions as my mother dealt with lawyers, stress, grief and all the other wonders that come with the loss of an 11 year marriage. I confided in myself, God and my diary so as not to put more stress or worry on my mother. I listened to and consoled younger siblings, got ourselves snacks, played babysitter to them, etc etc. I believe that is when I taught myself never to cry as crying is a useless endeavor and wasted effort. I've held on to that belief for 27 years now, letting myself give in a little on the very rare occasions that I just couldn't hold in all the pain/fear/anger/grief any longer.
During the collapse of my fathers second "marriage" (in quotes because it was a common law marriage) I became his rock, I was his shoulder to cry on, quite literally and felt the weight of those tears both physically and metaphorically more times than one would believe possible after having the privilege to meet my tough and gruff father. I became mother once again to my siblings during their weekend and holiday visits, took over the household chores; cooking, cleaning, organizing, grocery shopping,etc. My own tears, worries & stresses were tucked aside in my own personal well of pain and grief deep inside my chest, the lid firmly placed over the well and a large stone boulder placed on top of that to hold it down. I became the perfect steady-as-a-rock willing ear and shoulder to cry on. Let no emotions show, always project confidence and a winning smile, always have a plan, fake it til you make. Those were all my mottos. I memorized them and lived them well. Some called me shallow and heartless, I think many of them actually believed it to be true.
Through break-ups, losses of friendships, deaths of loved ones and pets, sexual abuse, physical abuse, a foray into my own personal drug hell, anorexia/bulimia I held my hand out to no one, poured my pain and loss and fears out to a microscopic few and handled it myself with the minimum emotional displays possible (except one VERY VERY drunken night with my best friend). Some people know the extent of these stories, most don't and I can say that of those that do more than half were told by big mouth family members and not by me (thanks for that by the way- and you 3 know who you are- it's always wonderful to be blindsided by a friend/family member/acquaintance/significant other with extremely personal information you didn't share with them and had no desire for them to ever know).
Then came my big epic failure decision. The decision to let my children live for one year with their father. The reasoning made sense at the time and honestly still does if you look at it solely from a numbers/ list of facts point of view and ignore the personalities of the adults involved. Ignoring the selfish behaviors and epic asstasticness by a certain someone - just look at facts and figures and a random stranger would very likely come to my same conclusion, however I'm not a random stranger I knew this man inside out, was fully aware of his capacity for selfishness, competitiveness and epic asstasticness so therefore I should have known better.
After making and enacting this decision; I endured hateful comments and emails, recriminations, judgments, backstabbing, loss of support structure from family, my own doubts/fears/self-recriminations, extreme misery and longing from missing my munchkins, Slander in front of court officials and random strangers on multiple occasions, as well as a multitude of other emotional and physical ups and downs. I weathered them all, and gave very little outward notice to many of them. My pain was my own burden to bear, hate from others my own to shield and deflect. I held up very well. We are now going on year three of the "temporary" one-year agreement and year two of the actual court custody proceedings and it has taken its toll. Over the course of my lifetime the well I spoke of earlier was eventually dug out, expanded and became a large river with a strong solid dam to hold it back, that dam is now cracking.
I cannot name the number of tears shed the last year and most especially the last 6 months, the heart-wrenching & soul-tearing pain experienced or the racking sobs as grief pours out of my throat and down my cheeks into my pillow. I am losing it. I can no longer hold up under this strain and happy facade of crap - smiling politely and nodding my head while everyone tells me to "be patient" and "It'll work out in the end" when NOW is what I am worried about and no one can tell me when the fuck "the end" will be. I am tired of living in limbo, tired of seeing my children less than once a month, tired of having my visitations ignored, shortened or otherwise fucked with, tired of the tear-filled questions from my children that I'm not allowed to answer per court order because apparently California courts think all children are too stupid to deduce for themselves that their parents are having a custody battle, tired of the hurt that fills my childrens eyes at the end of every visit, tired of hearing the begging and sobs during the end of the visit as their father stands coldly by refusing to acknowledge the pain his selfishness is wreaking upon our children, tired of his smug superiority and assumption that the children are his sole possessions to keep and control instead of the sentient beings they are with feelings and minds of their own who deserve their own chance at happiness and to have their wishes and needs acknowledged instead of ignored.
Any time this crap wants to finally come to an end so I can get on with my life and make the moves and decisions that are best for my children to help heal some of this damage would be great. Really. Any time now.
Friday, December 23, 2011
Letter to a Selfish Douchebag
Dear Selfish Douchebag,
It never ceases to amaze me that the amount of selfishness, pettiness, irresponsibility, complete lack of empathy, competitiveness and hatefulness that you have writhing with in you constantly increases. Just when I think we have reached the utmost depths of your vileness you do something more despicable, selfish, irresponsible, petty, competitive or hateful to prove me wrong. Will we ever reach the bottom of this vile well of despicableness or is your soul just an endless black hole of filth? Is this what your father is like? This soulless selfish despicable being or have you now even surpassed him?
I find it pathetically sad that you are following in his footsteps- this man that you claim to despise and yet your are just as self-absorbed and hateful to others as he is, if not more so, just as determined to have your way and take your revenge regardless of the cost to others or the collateral damage (namely your children). What's even more pathetic and sad is that I don't think you even completely realize that already your actions are sowing the seeds of discontent, disrespect and hatred in your children. The tone of disdain in their voices when they speak of you is sad and disheartening, the way they adamantly refuse to call you and fight over who has to speak to you first on the rare occasions you call them, saddens my heart.
Not for you, the selfish, black souled, lying manipulative bastard, but for our innocent children who should be able to blindly respect, love and adore their father, who should be able to have hero-worship as normal children do instead of being forced to see him in the light for the true person he is as he displays his soulless, selfish nature for them time and again through his actions. Destroying family time, ruining their dreams, plans and fun, lying to them, breaking promises to them, and the list goes on.
Grow up. Realize that the world does not revolve around you, and if it was going to revolve around any one single person certainly it would be a better, more responsible, truthful, caring, giving person than you have proven yourself to be.
You have these perfect wonderful beings in your hands, start cherishing that gift instead of squandering it. Start placing them first in your life above yourself, your wants and your petty thirst for revenge. BE A DAD. Instead of becoming more and more like the man you cut out of your life. Look in the mirror- is it his reflection you see yet? If not, that's only because you're fooling yourself.
Sincerely,
The Best Thing That Ever Happened to You Before She Got Smart and Walked Away
It never ceases to amaze me that the amount of selfishness, pettiness, irresponsibility, complete lack of empathy, competitiveness and hatefulness that you have writhing with in you constantly increases. Just when I think we have reached the utmost depths of your vileness you do something more despicable, selfish, irresponsible, petty, competitive or hateful to prove me wrong. Will we ever reach the bottom of this vile well of despicableness or is your soul just an endless black hole of filth? Is this what your father is like? This soulless selfish despicable being or have you now even surpassed him?
I find it pathetically sad that you are following in his footsteps- this man that you claim to despise and yet your are just as self-absorbed and hateful to others as he is, if not more so, just as determined to have your way and take your revenge regardless of the cost to others or the collateral damage (namely your children). What's even more pathetic and sad is that I don't think you even completely realize that already your actions are sowing the seeds of discontent, disrespect and hatred in your children. The tone of disdain in their voices when they speak of you is sad and disheartening, the way they adamantly refuse to call you and fight over who has to speak to you first on the rare occasions you call them, saddens my heart.
Not for you, the selfish, black souled, lying manipulative bastard, but for our innocent children who should be able to blindly respect, love and adore their father, who should be able to have hero-worship as normal children do instead of being forced to see him in the light for the true person he is as he displays his soulless, selfish nature for them time and again through his actions. Destroying family time, ruining their dreams, plans and fun, lying to them, breaking promises to them, and the list goes on.
Grow up. Realize that the world does not revolve around you, and if it was going to revolve around any one single person certainly it would be a better, more responsible, truthful, caring, giving person than you have proven yourself to be.
You have these perfect wonderful beings in your hands, start cherishing that gift instead of squandering it. Start placing them first in your life above yourself, your wants and your petty thirst for revenge. BE A DAD. Instead of becoming more and more like the man you cut out of your life. Look in the mirror- is it his reflection you see yet? If not, that's only because you're fooling yourself.
Sincerely,
The Best Thing That Ever Happened to You Before She Got Smart and Walked Away
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Why I am a weirdo...
So you know that saying that goes something along the lines of; " if you buy a woman things that plug in or household supplies you better have a good life insurance policy that you're paid up on" , that totally doesn't apply to me.
In the past I have received bake ware, a crockpot, mixers (man I'm still sad J got our kitchenaid mixer when we split), sewing machines, etc and all were met with sincere smiles and thanks because it is stuff needed that I will use and use well. Most girls want diamonds, I like cooking and crafting supplies, LOL.
Things I would absolutely go gaga over for future birthdays or Christmases include;
* A decent sewing machine (one that embroiders would net you multiple blow jobs daily for life)
* A label Maker
* A kitchenaid mixer with pasta maker attachment (I've been lusting over that baby for at least 8 years)
* A dyson animal vacuum cleaner
* A nice steam cleaner that works well
* A crepe pan
* A pastry cutter
* An industrial grade food processor
So I guess the moral of this story is that while stereotypes can be useful they don't always get it right, know the person you're getting gifts for and get the something you know they'll enjoy even if it is considered a faux pas by others. Happy gift hunting. :)
In the past I have received bake ware, a crockpot, mixers (man I'm still sad J got our kitchenaid mixer when we split), sewing machines, etc and all were met with sincere smiles and thanks because it is stuff needed that I will use and use well. Most girls want diamonds, I like cooking and crafting supplies, LOL.
Things I would absolutely go gaga over for future birthdays or Christmases include;
* A decent sewing machine (one that embroiders would net you multiple blow jobs daily for life)
* A label Maker
* A kitchenaid mixer with pasta maker attachment (I've been lusting over that baby for at least 8 years)
* A dyson animal vacuum cleaner
* A nice steam cleaner that works well
* A crepe pan
* A pastry cutter
* An industrial grade food processor
So I guess the moral of this story is that while stereotypes can be useful they don't always get it right, know the person you're getting gifts for and get the something you know they'll enjoy even if it is considered a faux pas by others. Happy gift hunting. :)
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Cons of a Tubal Ligation
First I'd like to remind everyone that your reproductive rights are one of the most cherished things you have, they are both a power and a gift like no other so please be VERY VERY VERY sure that ending those rights is not only the right choice for you but that it is YOUR choice. Don't allow other people to influence this decision, do not be pushed or guilted or pressured into deciding to give away all future children just because someone else thinks it's best. The only person who has the right to make this choice is you and you alone.
So now that you've decided you definitely, positively do not want more cherub cheeked bundles of joy running around your home you are stuck picking the method that works best for your family: Tubal ligation, Essure, or vasectomy. I'm not here to point out the pro's or cons of essure or vasectomy's nor am I here to do a side by side comparison of the three methods. I'm just here to state, for the record, why I personally if I had the chance to go back would NEVER EVER EVER get a tubal ligation again even if they paid me 15 TRILLION dollars.
Reason 1 that Tubal Ligations SUCK:
It's a surgery, and despite it's routine-ness it's not really minor.
Reason 2: The pain and healing time are not quick and easy.
Reason 3: I STILL (20 months later) have pain in the incision spot, and it is extremely sore to the touch as well.
Reason 4: My period cycle is on steroids. I used to have a very light cycle that lasted 3-5 days. I have never had to use anything more than a regular tampon and those would rarely get even half-full within the 4-6 hour time frame that they should be changed. Since my tubal ligation I bleed through super tampons in 2 or less hours for the first 3 days of my period, there is cramping, there is clotting and none of my periods have lasted less than 7 days... NOT. HAPPY.
Reason 5: I have had a significant amount of headaches and dizzy spells since my tubal and they have not lessened in the 20 months following the surgery despite having no other symptoms of any problems.
Reason 6: After extensive online research it turns out that my problems are not rare. The amount of women suffering from these and many more problems after having tubals (period cycle problems being the most common) are immense.
So please- RESEARCH RESEARCH RESEARCH before having this or any other surgery (major or minor) - I sincerely wish I would have. I regret very few things in my life, having this surgery is one of them.
So now that you've decided you definitely, positively do not want more cherub cheeked bundles of joy running around your home you are stuck picking the method that works best for your family: Tubal ligation, Essure, or vasectomy. I'm not here to point out the pro's or cons of essure or vasectomy's nor am I here to do a side by side comparison of the three methods. I'm just here to state, for the record, why I personally if I had the chance to go back would NEVER EVER EVER get a tubal ligation again even if they paid me 15 TRILLION dollars.
Reason 1 that Tubal Ligations SUCK:
It's a surgery, and despite it's routine-ness it's not really minor.
Reason 2: The pain and healing time are not quick and easy.
Reason 3: I STILL (20 months later) have pain in the incision spot, and it is extremely sore to the touch as well.
Reason 4: My period cycle is on steroids. I used to have a very light cycle that lasted 3-5 days. I have never had to use anything more than a regular tampon and those would rarely get even half-full within the 4-6 hour time frame that they should be changed. Since my tubal ligation I bleed through super tampons in 2 or less hours for the first 3 days of my period, there is cramping, there is clotting and none of my periods have lasted less than 7 days... NOT. HAPPY.
Reason 5: I have had a significant amount of headaches and dizzy spells since my tubal and they have not lessened in the 20 months following the surgery despite having no other symptoms of any problems.
Reason 6: After extensive online research it turns out that my problems are not rare. The amount of women suffering from these and many more problems after having tubals (period cycle problems being the most common) are immense.
So please- RESEARCH RESEARCH RESEARCH before having this or any other surgery (major or minor) - I sincerely wish I would have. I regret very few things in my life, having this surgery is one of them.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Personal Goals
So as my January entry had things i wanted to change about myself and do this year and one thing was to make a list of personal goals and work on it daily which I have yet to do though the year is almost over, I decided I better get on that like now. Here it is.
1) Write at least 1 chapter per week on my fiction romance novel.
2) Finish my homeopathic dog book by December 31, 2011
3) Spend at least 3 days per month working on my crafting items and ideas. Once i have a decent stockpile, set up my business website.
4) Business website for crafting should be up and running no later than October 2012
5) Start saving 10% of every paycheck.
6) Write twice per week in my dog blog and start promoting it on the faces social sites and website.
7) Start Family Home Evenings on Mondays, scripture Study Sunday-Thursday and nightly prayer.
8) Walk the dogs four nights per week , Louie and Bella get walked morning and night.
9) Write out where i want to be 5 years from now and set goals for how to get me there. Have this complete before January 2012.
10) Work on my 5 year goals daily.
1) Write at least 1 chapter per week on my fiction romance novel.
2) Finish my homeopathic dog book by December 31, 2011
3) Spend at least 3 days per month working on my crafting items and ideas. Once i have a decent stockpile, set up my business website.
4) Business website for crafting should be up and running no later than October 2012
5) Start saving 10% of every paycheck.
6) Write twice per week in my dog blog and start promoting it on the faces social sites and website.
7) Start Family Home Evenings on Mondays, scripture Study Sunday-Thursday and nightly prayer.
8) Walk the dogs four nights per week , Louie and Bella get walked morning and night.
9) Write out where i want to be 5 years from now and set goals for how to get me there. Have this complete before January 2012.
10) Work on my 5 year goals daily.
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